The deafening silence at night
Is quiet enough to project
The voice of God to my ears
I ask, “Would it save? or fright?”
If confronted with true scales
I know which side would lean.
In a moment of desperation
I would steal the scale and set sail.
I am but a dog in dirt.
When He who owns offers
Bath and food, I decline-
I would rather revel in dirt.
Clean fur is a myth- a lie.
Do not believe other dogs
Who claim they have no fleas.
They are putrid muts, like I
Yet.
My Owner does not care
That when He scratches
My ear, He must wash
His hands and scrub them bare.
While the deafening silence
Surrounds my dog house at night,
I do not fear or shake
I remember His alliance.
I see you tackled with the relationship between God and humanity and I see you have envisioned it as a relationship humans have with their dogs.
I must say that your poems have a raw, crude beauty just like you said in your slogan “Primitive Poetry”.
I must tell you that there might be a typo in your poem. The line “My ear, He must was / His hands and scrub them bare.” I think you meant to say “My ears, He must wash / His hands…”.
I also think that you could let a word out like in the lines “While the defeaning silence / Surrounds my dog house at night”. You can easy let out the “dog” and leave the “house” so that the line can be read “While the defeaning silence / Surrounds my house at night”. Because I think at this point, the reader already got the image of the God – humans / humans – dogs relationship figured out.
Please don’t be upset because of this.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you for your insight. Crude beauty is one way to see it. Crude is definitely true, beauty is only found in some of them. I like ugly. I like crude. I like realism. The typos, they happen, and I appreciate you pointing it out. It makes me feel foolish that I can read something a dozen times and still miss something so simple, but I know I am not the only one who does that. So, thank you.
I like the inclusion of “dog” house. I think it shows the significance that I was giving the human being portrayed as a dog here. They are lowly, simple, and deserved of simplicity in this moment.
Thank you for your insights, I love them.
LikeLike